What’s happening right now?
Tap what you’re facing for calm, practical steps and words that tend to work. There’s no single right answer — try one thing, and if it doesn’t land, step back and try another.
No match — try a simpler word like “bath,” “eat,” or “angry.”
Three things to remember
Dementia changes how a person experiences the world. When you meet them inside their reality instead of pulling them into yours, almost everything gets easier.
Enter their world
Don’t correct, quiz, or argue the facts. Whatever they’re feeling is real to them — and that’s the place to meet them.
Answer the feeling, not the fact
Behind almost every behavior is an emotion or an unmet need — fear, boredom, pain, loneliness. Comfort that first, and the behavior often settles.
Agree, then gently redirect
Go along with what they’ve said, then guide toward something calmer or pleasant.
“Agree, don’t argue. Distract, don’t reason. Reassure, don’t correct.”Helping them accept care
Resistance is usually fear or a loss of control — not stubbornness. These small shifts protect their dignity and make “yes” more likely.
Timing is everything. Choose their calmest, best time of day, and never rush. A hurried approach almost always backfires.
Offer choices, not commands. “Blue shirt or green?” keeps them in control. Avoid open questions like “What do you want to do?”
One small step at a time. Break the task down and say what you’re doing as you go: “Now let’s slip this arm through.”
Protect dignity. Privacy, warmth, and patience. Cover with a towel, keep the room warm, let them do what they still can.
Make it feel social. A task becomes time together. Chat, hum a familiar song, keep your voice warm and your face relaxed.
If they say no, pause. Step away for 15–20 minutes and start fresh. A clean slate often gets a different answer.
Words that help
The same moment can open or shut depending on a few words. When in doubt, trade the question or the “no” for warmth and a next step.
Caring for yourself, too
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Looking after yourself isn’t selfish — it’s how you keep showing up.
- Rest isn’t a reward you earn. Take real breaks. Sleep when you can. Your well-being matters as much as theirs.
- You don’t have to do this alone. Accept help when it’s offered, and ask when it isn’t.
- Grief is normal. It’s okay to miss the person they were, even while they’re right beside you.
- Lower the bar, on purpose. “Good enough,” given with love, is more than enough. Perfect isn’t the goal.
- Find your people. A support group or one friend who truly gets it can carry you through the hard days.
Signs to call for help
You know them best. Trust that instinct — and don’t wait when something feels off.
- A sudden change in confusion, alertness, or behavior can signal an infection, pain, dehydration, or a medication problem — not just “the dementia.” Call the doctor.
- New or worsening aggression, falling, or refusing to eat or drink over time.
- Any question about medications — including whether a pill can be crushed or mixed with food — ask the pharmacist or doctor first.
- If they are in danger, could hurt themselves or someone else, or you feel unsafe — step back, keep everyone safe, and call for emergency help.
We’re here to help you carry this.
Silver Lining Serenity Care provides compassionate, non-medical in-home support for families across Michigan — respite, daily care, and a steady presence when you need one.
(269) 256-6379 info@silverliningserenitycare.com